The Fall of Lucifer Cat

But why's he gotta be black yo?!

Germans

Nuff said.

Come to Daddy....

I know, reminds you of the LooneyToons but, this is actually how I caught my girlfriend. I just replaced the pillows with some Swiss chocolate and roses. You know there's alot to say about the classics! Now go and catch your future Mrs. You can thank me later.

I'd soooo rather be......

Shooting someone in da face! And your face looks like it be needing some shooting.... off. Yeah!!!

So I go out to dinner alot.....

So I go out a lot to dinner. I mean I eat out like every night. I've always wondered how I can get my GF to start cooking for me. Well ladies and gentlemen here's an awesome invention that just might do the trick! They're Salt and Pepper maracas! Now all I gots to do is throw some salsa music on and my baby's cookin me up something spicy! Awww yeah! Salsa con CocoNutz!!!

DO NOT WANT!!!!

Poetry Corner

May god bless us all to attire a giving opportunity to wake up and see another morning!

May the cold chills be our awaking as the infamous kicking’s to do the things we are meant to do but with a stylish jest.

-MLR



P.S. I think that bird smokes marijuana cigarettes.

UPDATE: CocoNutz!

So I left one part out. I apparently get this nickname because I'm coocoo in the head. Coco-Nut? So yeah.... I'm insain in da brane yo!

CocoNutz!

So apparently the above picture is me. Certain people like to call me this because I speak proper English. I don't know. I thought that was a good thing but it seems believing in good grammar belongs to the "white folks". The term comes from being "brown on the outside and 'white' on the inside". Cute nickname? I have some mixed emotions about this. Since speaking proper belongs to my white brothers then speaking bad grammar belongs to my black brothers? Does that sound about right? Should I call this person a "chocolate covered coal" or "cho-coal-ate"? You know, come to think of it I thought chicken was delicious but apparently I have some type of "black" gene in my body that makes me genetically attracted to liking hot wings.

Please Buy for moi!!!!

I love my GF... like alot. But I think of how cool I would look with her walking down the hard streets of Downtown Boston wearing one of these. As she calls me a nerd and I set off a nuke in Istanbul with my thoughts. Instant gratification.

Starbucks + Nerds = Funny

So yeah, can't say I never thought about doing this. Because I have. I do. Every day I think about how much Comcast sucks my left huevo! But I would kick these dooshers out if I worked there. "Come on dood! WTF?! It's costing us more to keep that piece-o-shat tube monitor running than our profits on our Super Venti Mocha Caca Lattes!"

Iz werk hards fer mai monies!!!!

Seriously Sony! WTF?! I needs me a Blue-Ray player but do I need the extra paperweight and $400 price tag? You got like two games worth owning and they aren't that great. Sony, you suck somethin fierce and everyone knows it. You're like the hoochy in the club with her belly overlapping her skirt. Everyone sees you.... YOU see you. But you don't care. You like the attention. It gets you off doesn't it? YOU WHORE!!!!! DAMN YOU SONY!!!!!

A Gift for all Occasions

Need to "WOW" that special someone but just don't know what to get the gal who has everything? Well here's one way to give her that nice warm fuzzy feeling inside. Just follow the simple instructions in this diagram and you're on your way to happy days.

FYI: No Sex In The Family Game Room

Just incase you forgot kiddies!!!! No sexin up your good ol' Wii! Alright, I'm not entirely sure what the frik this picture means but I know one thing.... ima make some mega Wii's when I get home. Awwww yeah!

She Hulk

So whats up with this girl? If you don't know what it is it's Hulk Hogan's daughter, Brooke Hogan. Yeah I know what you're thinking.... "That's a huuuuge b!tc#!" And you're right. Actually she's even huger in real life. One funny fact is how much her chin resembles her balls. I mean damn... thats quite the "satchel" he's got going there. Looks like a little too much Hulk-a-mania juice went into making this future pro wrestler. Well now I'm going to go hide somewhere her father can't crush me like bug!

Cocain is a hell-ova-drug!

So I'm at a Boston Nightclub the other night with a good friend. She's a cutie, it's a model contest, we get backstage. I'm loving it. I get to meet all the model's and now they're all comfortable with me because I'm a friend of a friend. I'm trustworthy ya know! Plus I had just registered as a convicted sex offender. I'm an honest Joe! So I see this guy by the stage. He's looking around franticly. My home-girl walks up and asks him if he's "looking for anyone"?
Where he so kindly replies, "who the hell are you? Get lost!" Ok. I look at this guy and ask him what his problem is. He says, "nothing" with a smile. So I ask him if he likes guys. Simple reasonable question... no? He gets nervous and scratches his head just for all near to see a open bag of coke come out of his pocket and fall all over the side stage(Picture taken of "goods" above). I personally thought this to be the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Now I've seen a bit of coke movies in my time. One thing I've learned is that its all expensive. This doosh must've lost about $200 or so. Well needless to say this doosh notices he dropped the "goods" then barrels for the front door. Good news for Mr. Doosh.... I'm standing right beside the club owner. Too bad he dropped the numbing powder. He's going to need to be as numb as possible where he's going.

Then I saw another beast.....

So I saw this pic and almost shat my $100.00 Polo Sport pants. I mean seriously America! WTF! Any friggen person can become President these days eh? I got nuts with more smarts than the current candidates! Yes I meant nuts. My nuts! All three of em!

The I.T. Factor!!!

So I'm an IT Tech. I can thank my friend NomBomB for this. If I knew then what I know now... I would be a baker or some shat like that. I mean seriously, who the hell wants to explain how turning your monitor off isn't quite the freakin same as turning your computer off. What do you mean everything is still on your screen Ma'am?! Oh.... I see what the problem is. "Ma'am? Do you see that window to the right of your cube? Jump out of it." I swear that would cost our company less than me holding hands walking dorks through saving an Excel document. Sometimes I feel things would be more efficient if I just wore a gun on a holster and just walk around asking users if they have any issues I could help resolve. Cause: User Error Solution: Replace User.....BAMM!!!!!